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亞當森德勒

The Buffoon And The Valedictorian

'and now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian.'

Valedictorian:'i really appreciate you're asking me out. most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.'

Buffoon:'this movie sucks shit!'

Valedictorian: 'well, ebel gave it thumbs up, but ciscel thought it was too preachy. anyway, i enjoyed the director's last film immensly.'

Buffoon: 'cathleen turner has big fuckin' tits!'

Valedictorian: 'yes, well, she recently had a child. i think her maternal biology may play a role in that. she looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?'
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Buffoon: 'i put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off.'

Valedictorian: 'well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process.'

Buffoon: 'that girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.'

Valedictorian: 'well, i guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.'

[buffoon eating popcorn]
Buffoon: 'this popcorn's fuckin' terrible. it tastes like someone jizzed all over it.'
[buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

Valedictorian: 'well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a
Dish prank.'

Buffoon: 'i looked at my asshole in the mirror today. it blew my fuckin' mind!'

Valedictorian: 'it's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

Buffoon: 'my father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!'

Valedictorian: 'it's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's. i wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolis
Ot;

Buffoon: 'i'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl.'
[gets out of the car]

Valedictorian: 'well, i'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion.'
[buffoon walking away]
'i do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue.'

Buffoon: 'i like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!'

Valedictorian: 'bye bye! have fun.'
[buffoon continues to walk away]