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Ward Thomas
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Town Called Ugly
We left in plenty of time and thank God we did
The clock kept screaming the time and the tyres skid
'Turn left', about a half hour later
We were right back where we began when we started this trip
It wasn't just my mood that was going downhill
Even felt we were being pursued when the car stood still
'Turn right', the Tom-Tom said
I wanna chuck it right out of the car and leave it for dead
I swear we drove right past the Old Kings Head twenty five times or more
The wipers stopped and Catherine said 'I can't take this anymore'
So Lizzy jumped out and took the wheel, she could've took us to the moon and back
By the time that we got out and slammed the door in a town called Ugley
We swerved more than a couple of times for a black alpaca
Delayed in every kind of way so time was a factor
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Only made worse by a broken down tractor
Turn round and slam on the brakes
Or we will drive straight down the road to find our next mistake
I swear we drove right past the Old Kings Head twenty five times or more
The wipers stopped and Catherine said 'I can't take this anymore'
So Lizzy jumped out and took the wheel, she could've took us to the moon and back
By the time that we got out and slammed the door in a town called Ugley
So after driving right past the Old Kings Head fifty five times or more
The tyre's flat and the battery's dead, it doesn't matter any more
We survived this drive to tell this tale, what the hell did we come here for?!
We couldn't wait to get out and finally slam the door on a town, that bloody town
It's a cotton-picking town called Ugley, yeah
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