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Tripod

King Kong

Bom-bom
Bom-bom
This is my favourite bit of the song.
Bom-bom
Feel like I'm in Sesame Street
Bom-bom
Bom-bom
Helps if you imagine us as cabbages.
Bom-bom
Bom-bom
Actually, do that for the rest of the show, it works really well.
Bom-bom…

Don't get me wrong,
I love Jack Black
Adrian Brodey is great
Naomi Watts is delightful, my friend
But I didn't come here to see any of them

Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fucking monkey!
Monkey…

Don't get me wrong…
Don't get me wrong,
I love Lord of the Rings,
Meet the Feebles was great
Heavenly Creatures, I do recommend,
But I didn't come here to see any again
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Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fucking monkey!

Andy Serkis is great in real life,
But it's not who I paid my twelve bucks for.
Don't get me wrong,
I've been here so long
And I haven't seen Kong

It's not brain surgery, is it? Why can't it just be something like this? Opening credits, we're in a boat, there's an island in the distance. We hear a roar. It's King Kong! He jumps on the boat and starts smashing stuff. End of Act 1. Act 2, the whole middle section of the film. Goes for about 10 minutes. Naomi Watts doing gymnastics. Act 3, New York. King Kong starts smashing stuff. There's a short sex scene between King Kong and Naomi Watts. It's tasteful though, it's behind a screen. You just see it in silhouette. Suddenly, Roy Scheider appears. He throws a cylinder of oxygen into King Kong's mouth and he shoots him and he explodes! The end.

Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fucking monkey!

Other films that would benefit from getting to the mother fucking monkey!
Gatesy: Titanic. Opening scene, iceberg! Smash, sinking, sinking, sinking, drown, Leo, drown! Roll credits.
Boogie nights. Opening credits. We see his cock. The end.
Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope, original 1977 cinema release. Perfect, don't change it.

Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fucking monkey!
Get to the fu-
Get to the fu-
Get to the fu-
King Kong, King Kong, King Kong, King Kong.