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SpongeBob SquarePants



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SpongeBob SquarePants

Born to Be Wild / Best Frenemies

opens up to bikers riding by coral, setting them on fire after they ride by]
SpongeBob:La la la la la. Missed ya. Uh-oh. You shouldn't play in the street, little guy. You could get run over. The 'Ild Ones'! That's a strange name. Scallop!! Bye 'Ild Ones'. I like your silly name. Hmm...'w'. Oh, oh, they're not the 'Ild Ones'. They must be the 'Wild Ones'.
Fish:The Wild Ones?! Tar nation! Don't you know who the Wild Ones are, son?!
SpongeBob:No; I don't know who you are, either.
Fish:Why, they're the most ferocious, bloodthirsty biker gang under the sea.
They've destroyed entire cities in an afternoon! SpongeBob: Bloodthirsty bikers?
And they're headed straight for Bikini Bottom!
I've got to warn everybody!
I better take the shortcut! Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Where in the blue barnacles did you come from?
SpongeBob: There's no time for that, Mr. Krabs. Grab something heavy! Bar the door! Board up the windows. We've got to protect the Krusty Krab. The Krabby Patties must survive!
Mr. Krabs: Settle down, son. What are you all riled up about?
SpongeBob: Bikers... coming... nasty... ferocious... take... over... town. Destroy... must hide!
Mr. Krabs: What are you going on about? Bikers?
SpongeBob: The Wild Ones are coming, Mr. Krabs. They're the most vicious, ravenous herd of hooligans in the sea.
Mr. Krabs: Ravenous did you say? That's another word for hungry, isn't it? Welcome Wild Ones! They'll be drawn here like a sailor at a tattoo parlor. With the special biker parking and authentic biker decor, with real bloodstains. And to top it off, a custom chopper patty. And best of all, I'll raise me prices 150%. I'll make a fortune.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, this is serious! Mr. Krabs: That kid needs a vacation -- unpaid of course. SpongeBob: Squidward! Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: A horrible biker gang called the 'Wild Ones' are coming. We've got to run, hide! Squidward: Oh, my. This sounds serious. Luckily, I know just what you should do. Listen closely.
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
Squidward: Get a good grip on your pants. Turn around. SpongeBob: Like this, Squidward?
Squidward: That's it. SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: An evil gang of bikers are coming to ravage Bikini Bottom.
Patrick: Huh.
SpongeBob: Patrick, didn't you hear what I said?
Patrick: Oh, I heard you. What I didn't hear was a hello.
SpongeBob: Hello, Patrick.
Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob. Bloodthirsty bikers! We got to hide! Giant Clam #2: Hey, what happened to you?
Giant Clam #1: I... I don't want to talk about it, man. Patrick: Hide me!
SpongeBob: No, hide me!
Patrick: Hide me!
SpongeBob: Me!
Patrick: No, me!
SpongeBob: Me!
Patrick: Me!
SpongeBob: Me!
Patrick: No! No more running.
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: Those bikers think they're so tough. With their leather hats and their leather pants SpongeBob: And their leather socks.
Patrick: If we dressed up like that then we'd be the big, scary bikers and they'd be little baby doody-heads.
SpongeBob: Say that again, Patrick.
Patrick: Little baby doody-heads?
SpongeBob: No, no, not that part. The part about dressing up like big, scary bikers. What do you think, Patrick? Do I look though?
Patrick: I wouldn't mess with ya.
SpongeBob: Nor I with you, my friend. Let's ride. Fear not. There is no need to panic. The Bikini Bottom bad boys are here.
Harold: Ooh, I feel protected now.
Scooter: Those are some mean looking rides, dudes. SpongeBob: Patrick, it's working. They think we're... vicious bikers. Bikini Bottom, you're salvation is here.
Patrick: See?
SpongeBob: Patrick, that's your salivation.
Patrick: Oh.
SpongeBob: So, Squidward, are you ready to do your part?
Squidward: Does that part include laughing at you?
Cause you two look even more idiotic than usual.
SpongeBob: Don't we look vicious and bloodthirsty?
Patrick: I'm bloodthirsty. See? Want some?
SpongeBob: Oh, no thank you, Patrick.
I'm drinking diet blood.
See Squidward? We walk the walk but can we talk the talk? Do you want to join our biker gang?
Squidward: No, I don't.
Patrick: What about our biker club?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: How about our biker organization?
Squidward: No!
I don't want to join your biker alliance, outfits, or your fellowships.
SpongeBob: What about our coalition?
Patrick: Ooh, I don't know. That one's pretty exclusive.
SpongeBob: We'll just put you down as undecided. Hi, Mr. Krabs. We're the Bikini Bottom bad boys and we're bad to the bone.
Mr. Krabs: This'll be great. Those bikers can work up an appetite beating you up in the parking lot. Then they can fill up on delicious Krabby Patties then they can beat you up again.
SpongeBob: Please, Mr. Krabs. We're going to run off those bikers and save the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: You're not running off any of me paying customers. You can stay and get beat up in the parking lot if you wish.
SpongeBob: Then can we save the town?
Squidward: Has it ever crossed your mind that you might be getting all worked up over nothing?
SpongeBob: Squidward, when have I ever been known to over-react? Squidward! We're out of napkins! Out of napkins! Squidward! I accidentally removed the 'Do No Remove by Penalty of Law' tag on my mattress! Hide me. Hide me. Squidward! Squidward! I've gone blind. Oh. Thanks, Squidward. Squidward: SpongeBob, you always over-react to everything. One of your many annoying traits.
SpongeBob: Me? Annoying? Yeah right.
Squidward: You are so wrong about everything, SpongeBob, that the only thing that I am completely sure about is that there is no motorcycle gang headed this way. What was that?
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, mateys. Motorcycle vehicles headed over the horizon.
Squidward: What? Gimme that. Don't just stand there, save us.
SpongeBob: Patrick, I know this looks like the end, but you and I can get through anything. As long as do it together. Patrick? Patrick! Well, it's just you and me, Squidward. But I want you to know that we can get through this. As long as we...
Squidward: Panic! Run for your lives! The Wild Ones are coming! Lenny: The Wild Ones? Mable, get the kids! Charlie: Honey, I got the napkins. Oh, what I have missed this time?
Squidward: Please don't kill me. I want to join you. It's been my life-long dream to be to be a member of a motorcycle gang. I even knitted my own Wild Ones jacket. I want to ride to live and live to ride. I'll do whatever you want. I'll betray my friends and neighbors. Just let me live.
Biker #1: What's that, missy?
Biker #2: What?
Biker #1: Howdy, we're the 'Mild Ones'.
SpongeBob: Mild Ones? Oh!
Biker #1: Gimme back my M. Let's go, boys.
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Mr. Krabs: Don't you want to spend any money?
Biker #1: Don't you want to kiss the seat of my pants? Let's ride. SpongeBob: Good-bye. They seem really nice. Hey, where's Squidward?
Squidward: Woo-hoo-hoo! Ride to live and live to ride!

Mr. Krabs: No, it's impossible. I must've counted me money a dozen times, and it still comes up short. Profits are down. Oh, I feel sorry for me self. Squidward: Would you like a drink with that order?
Customer: Oh no, thanks. I got me one of those new KelpShakes before I came in here.
Squidward: That comes out to two dollars even.
Customer: Wow, what a steal.
Mr. Krabs: What the... why didn't that guy order a deliciously over-priced fountain beverage with his krabby patty?
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we haven't sold a single soda in days.
Mr. Krabs: What? Why not? All right, boy, it's done! You're gonna suck the whole cup down your gullet if you're not careful.
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr Krabs, it's just that this KelpShake tastes so good.
Mr. Krabs: KelpShake?
SpongeBob: Look around ya. Everyone's enjoying a delicious KelpShake. Mm-mm. I'll be right back, Mr Krabs. I'm gonna get a refill.
Mr. Krabs: Refill? That's it. Listen up, everybody! New rule: No outside drinks. No exceptions! Squidward: That's telling them.
Mr. Krabs: Grr. I better get to the bottom of this. Ah! A new store! On my block! Taking my customers. Pearl. Me own flesh and blood. How could you do this to your papa?
Pearl: What are you talking about, Dad?
Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about this. Pearl: Once you taste the secret goodness of a KelpShake... You can't have just one.
Mr. Krabs: Let me see that. Pearl: Buy your own.
Mr. Krabs: Why I wouldn't give them a cent.
Pearl: I feel sorry for you.
Mr. Krabs: Then you do understand. Pearl: Dad, you're embarrassing me. Oh, get away. Mr. Krabs: Oh, no! Confound you, new KelpShake store. What's your secret? Of course. Plankton, I bet he's behind this. A-ha! I knew you were behind this!
Plankton: Pardon me, I've done nothing wrong.
Mr. Krabs: Then how do you explain this? Plankton: Holy Moley, how'd that happen?
Mr. Krabs: Don't try that with me, Plankton. This new store is ruining me business.
Plankton: Really?! Wait a minute! That's my job! Blast it! It's bad enough I have to compete with this joker. Now there's this?! KelpShakes.
Mr. Krabs: Wow. I guess you're really not behind this after all. Plankton, they have... a secret formula.
Plankton: No, not another secret. And if there's a secret, I want to know about it! Mr. Krabs: Oh!
Plankton: They're multiplying. Why, they're on every corner.
Mr. Krabs: Block after block.
Plankton: They're everywhere.
Mr. Krabs: We've got to do something about this. You sure this is going to work?
Plankton: Just stick to the plan.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, let's see, let's see. Ah, there you are. Plankton, I think I found the kitchen.
Plankton: Let's do this thing.
Mr. Krabs: Here goes. Wa-choo! I'm sorry, I have a bit of a ah-ah-ah-ah-ah... choo!! Employee: Eww. Plankton: My eye, my eye, my eye! Mr. Krabs: I think we lost them. Well, you got any more bright ideas?
Plankton: Of course I do. Mr. Krabs: All set, Plankton?
Plankton: You better believe it. This high-powered mechanical bio-arm I invented should pry those restaurant doors open nice and easy. What the barnacles? Come on, you piece of garbage. Ouch! Uncle! Uncle!
Mr. Krabs: If you want anything done right, you've got to do it yourself. Oh, me back. Plankton: Krabs, pipe down. You're gonna soil our plans if you wake up the watchdog. Mr. Krabs: Never mind that. What about SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Hi, Mr Krabs. Hi... Plankton? Uh, Mr Krabs, I'm a little confused. Don't you and Plankton hate each other?
Mr. Krabs: Of course we do.
SpongeBob: Then why is he in your fist? Mr. Krabs: Uh... we've gone into business together. You see, SpongeBob, we were here, uh... to fix this door.
Plankton: Now we have to fix the roof. Mr. Krabs: That's right. That's right. We have to fix the roof. It's, it's, it's naked. SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that. See ya. Plankton: Keep her going, Krabs. At this rate, we'll have the Kelpshake's recipe faster than you can say... Speaker: You have three seconds before spontaneous combustion. Plankton: Let's beat it!
Mr. Krabs: No kidding. Plankton: Wait, you forgotten... I'm throwing in the towel, Krabs! All these convoluted plans are getting us nowhere. And to top it all off, I'm the only one that's taking the heat!
Mr. Krabs: What's that suppose to mean?
Plankton: I don't see you on the front lines. Sure, let me do all the work, while you just sit back like the fat gorilla you are!!
Mr. Krabs: Who you are calling a gorilla, you one-cent, one-eyed bottom-feeder!?
SpongeBob: Mr Krabs, if you want a KelpShake, why don't you just buy one? Mr. Krabs: Buy one? Customer: I'll have one KelpShake, please.
Mr. Krabs: I don't know about this, Plankton.
Plankton: It's easy. Just smile and hand the cashier the money.
Cashier: Can I help you?
Plankton: Good luck.
Mr. Krabs: Hi there. Uh, could I get one KelpShake?
Cashier: Sure, that'll be one dollar.
Mr. Krabs: Uh, ok. Cashier: Thank you. Sir, please let go of the bill.
Plankton: Release your grip, man. Do it! Cashier: Enjoy.
Mr. Krabs: Thanks. I can't believe we did it.
Plankton: Oh, believe it, Krabs. Now let's get to the lab and find out what this stuff is made of. What's the secret ingredient, Karen?
Karen: Well, it appears that the main ingredient is, Kelp Juice.
Plankton & Mr. Krabs: Just kelp juice?
Mr. Krabs: And to think this whole time I could've been selling these meself!
Plankton: You? What about me? If anyone, I deserve to make a buck of selling this stuff.
Mr. Krabs: No way, pipsqueak. This gold mine is mine.
Plankton: Not if I can help it. Ow.
Mr. Krabs: Nice try. Karen: I wouldn't do that if I were you. There's another ingredient.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, I paid good money for this thing. Of course I'm gonna drink it. What the...? I don't get what the big deal is. This tastes like a wet gym sock.
Plankton: Really? Let me try that. Actually, there is a bit of a pungent aftertaste.
Mr. Krabs: Hmmm. Hey, you're right. This ain't half bad. This is amazing.
Plankton: Well, don't be selfish. Oh yeah.
Karen: Oh no.
Plankton: Krabs, we're all out of juice.
Mr. Krabs: Well, we gotta get more.
Karen: You're making a big mistake.
Mr. Krabs: Ah, phooey. You don't know what you're talking about. KelpShake, KelpShake. Oh how I love a KelpShake.
SpongeBob: What's happening to me? They've shutdown the KelpShake restaurants! Plankton & Mr. Krabs: Huh? Worker #1: It'll take decades to clean this hazardous material up.
Worker #2: I sure do feel sorry for whoever drank this. Plankton: Look at us!
Mr. Krabs: Now what are we going to do?
Plankton: I don't know about you, but I'm going back to what I do best. Stealing your recipe. Mr. Krabs: Hey, wait a minute! Plankton!
Plankton: Come to papa. Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there. You're not going anywhere...without a ten second head start.
Plankton: It's good to be home.
Mr. Krabs: You said it.
Plankton: I love being hated.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, get back here you little booger!