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SpongeBob SquarePants
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Patrick's Staycation / Walking the Plankton
Patrick：Giddy-up!
Hyah!
Sponge
Bob：Weren't you going to put your vacation slides in the projector, Patrick?
Patrick：Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. (takes out some hashbrowns)
Sponge
Bob: Patrick, those are hashbrowns.
Patrick: Hashbrowns! (engulfs the hashbrowns in his mouth)
Sponge
Bob: Um, Patrick, the slides.
Patrick: Right.
The slides. (takes out the slides from his belly button) Voila!
Uh, now what?
Sponge
Bob: Now you put the slides in the projector.
Patrick: (chuckles & snaps) I knew that.
Put the slides in the projec-- (the stool collapses and the projector breaks into pieces) ...
tor.
Don't worry, Sponge
Bob.
I've got something even better. (turns off the lights and turns on the lamp, shining the light at the projector screen) Okay, here we go. (makes shadow puppets of his rock) There I was...
Sponge
Bob: (claps) Ooh, a shadow puppet show!
Patrick: Please, no interruptions.
Sponge
Bob: Sorry.
Patrick: As I was saying... (clears throat) I was lying around my house, not even planning to have a vacation when I heard a knock at my door. (Flashback.
Sponge
Bob walks up to Patrick's rock and knocks on it.
Patrick moans) For clammin' out loud!
Aww, sheesh!
I'm still not there yet? (grunts.
Opens his rock with a key.
Sponge
Bob jumps inside and sees Patrick laying on the floor with the key in his hand)
Sponge
Bob: Patrick!
Patrick, what have you done to yourself?
Patrick: (panting) I've been waking up, eating, sleeping, waking up, eating, sleeping, waking up, eating, sleeping for my whole life without a rest.
I need a break from the hustle and bustle of my everyday life. (breathlessly) It's so exhausting. (cries) Help me, Sponge
Bob.
Please, help me.
Sponge
Bob: Pal, what you need is a vacation.
Patrick: That's it!
I need a vacation. (cut to Bikini Travel Agency)
Travel Agent: So, you'd like a vacation.
Patrick: (gasps) Oh, great.
Another thing for me to d--
Sponge
Bob: (covers Patrick's mouth) Yes, he'd like a vacation.
Travel Agent: Well, your options are endless, Mr.
Star.
Anywhere from beautiful white sandy beaches to exhilarating jungle safaris.
It all depends on your budget. (Sponge
Bob and Patrick stare at him.
They get booted out)
Sponge
Bob & Patrick: Ugh!
Patrick: I guess I'll just have to stay home.
Sponge
Bob: '
Stay home'?
That's it.
You can take a 'stay-cation.'
Patrick: Wh-what's that?
Sponge
Bob: Take a vacation at home.
No packing, no travel, just do whatever you want to do.
Best of all, it's free.
Patrick: Oh boy! (cut to later at Patrick's house)
Sponge
Bob: All right, Patrick.
Enjoy your stay-cation.
Patrick: That's what I'm gonna do, buddy. (goes into his rock and walks up to a check in counter)
Sponge
Bob: (dressed up in a hotel suit) Welcome to Star Rock Inn, sir.
My name is Todd.
Can I check you in?
Patrick: I don't know.
Can you?
Sponge
Bob: Ah, yes.
Star, Star, Star. (checking in the computer for Star) Patrick Star, room 801. (gives him a key) Your key, sir.
And please don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable. (dings bell twice and is now dressed as a luggage man) May I take your bags, Mr.
Star?
Patrick: I don't have any ba-- (Sponge
Bob gives him two suitcases) Oh... (Sponge
Bob takes the suitcases back)
Sponge
Bob: Follow me, sir.
Your room is right this way. (opens a door that leads to a bedroom) Your room, sir.
Patrick: Oh, dear.
Sponge
Bob: Something wrong, Mr.
Star?
Patrick: Well, honestly, I'm not sure I like the way this room is arranged.
Sponge
Bob: Arranged?
Narrator: One Hour Later.
Sponge
Bob: Mr.
Star, are you sure about this? (standing on top of all the furniture in a pile)
Patrick: No, maybe it's the walls. (Sponge
Bob deflates and all the furniture crashes into a pile of sand) I got it.
Let's put the room back the way it was originally!
Sponge
Bob: (talking about a bathtub full of water) The pool is one of Star Rock Inn's most relaxing features.
Patrick: A pool! (rips off shorts, revealing a black speedo, and walks over to the tub) Where's the diving board?
Sponge
Bob: The diving board?
Ooh, one diving board, coming up. (runs off and puts together a wooden diving board) Your diving board, sir.
Patrick: All right! (laughs and gets on the diving board and does a few flips in the air and hits the bathtub with his head, and then into the water)
Sponge
Bob: You ok, sir?
Patrick: (confused) My head is swimming just fine, thank you.
Sponge
Bob: Oh, no! (runs off and comes back in a lifeguard outfit) Lifeguard on duty! (blows whistle and pulls Patrick out of the tub) You ok, sir?
Patrick: (teeth chattering) So cold.
Sponge
Bob: This calls for CPR-- candy peppermint resuscitation.
Patrick: So weak. (Sponge
Bob sticks the candy peppermint in Patrick' mouth) Strength...
returning. (licks more of the peppermint.
His belly is rumbling) But I'm still hungry.
Sponge
Bob: Follow me, sir. (now outside, Sponge
Bob is dressed as a waiter and puts out a table and a giant rock.
He drops the giant rock on his foot and deflates it) If you would take your seat, sir. (Patrick sits down.
Sponge
Bob puts a bib around his neck) Your dining bib, sir. (Patrick reads it as 'who's a good boy')
Patrick: Wow.
What luxury. (Sponge
Bob, now dressed as a chef, wheels a bbq pit over and gets out a spatula and patty)
Sponge
Bob: One Krabby Patty coming up.
Mr.
Krabs: (clears throat.
Sponge
Bob gives him a dollar) What, no tip? (Sponge
Bob hands him some coins)
Patrick: Hey, what kind of resort is this?
Where's the entertainment?
Sponge
Bob: Oh, uh, you are absolutely right, sir. (jumps on the table) Presenting the Sponge
Bob Follies. (vocalizes music while dancing) What the hey.
Patrick: Boring. (Sponge
Bob does a magic trick.
Patrick scoffs) Lame. (Sponge
Bob swallows a pineapple)
Man: Three, two, one, liftoff. (Sponge
Bob shoots the pineapple out of his head and into an airplane's propeller blades, slicing the pineapple's skin off, and back down onto the table)
Sponge
Bob: Well, what do you think?
Patrick: You are smokin'!
Sponge
Bob: Aw, it was nothing.
Patrick: No, no, you're really smoking!
Sponge
Bob: What? (sniffs and sees the patty is burning) Oh, no, the Krabby Patty! (the black smoke fills up around him and Patrick.
Patrick exits through the back and his belly rumbles again)
Patrick: My tummy is still lonely. (sniffs the aroma in the air) Ahh. (sees the aroma is coming from behind Squidward's kitchen where he is making some sort of stew)
Squidward: Ah. (licks some more) Ah, delish. (brings a bowl of stew to the table) Oh, silly me.
I forgot the napkin. (walks off to get it from the cabinet) And now an elegant meal for an elegant person. (walks back to the table to see Patrick eating his stew)
Patrick: I am quite refined. (slurps the rest of the bowl) Ah! (burps)
Squidward: What are you doing here?
Patrick: I'm on vacation!
The last resort I was staying at was a dump, but this place is awesome.
Oh, hey waiter... (snaps) a napkin, please. (Squidward growls)
Sponge
Bob: (coming out of the black smoke with a burnt patty on a plate) Mr.
Star, your meal is ready. (Krabby Patty dissolves into dust and blown away by the wind) Patrick, where is he? (Squidward screams) Ah.
Squidward: Patrick, you dimwitted moron, get out of my kitchen!
Patrick: Good idea.
I think I'll head over to the spa. (bones crack) I could use a massage.
Squidward: Get this into your tiny, tiny, little, tiny brain-- this is not a resort.
It's my house.
There is no spa.
And you can't get a massage!
Patrick: (moaning) Oh, yeah, that's the spot. (Sponge
Bob is giving him a massage) Hey, you should get a massage, too.
Squidward: (scoffs) Not likely. (bones crack) Ow ow ow ow!
What the hey?! (pushes Patrick off the table) Move over.
I want a deep tissue treatment and don't forget the feet.
Narrator: 5 Hours Later. (Squidward is snoring and Sponge
Bob is tired)
Sponge
Bob: So tired. (goes into his house and gets into bed.
Sighs but notices snoring is coming from Patrick) Patrick, what are you doing here?
Patrick: that resort next door is too crowded.
Then I found this place.
It's quiet and peaceful.
Good night, Sponge
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Bob. (snores.
Cut to Mr.
Krabs gargling in front of his sink.
Goes into his room, turns on the light, and sees Sponge
Bob in his hammock, snoring)
Mr.
Krabs: Wake up, laddy.
Sponge
Bob: Hmm?
Oh, hi, Mr.
Krabs.
Mr.
Krabs: You have another nasty old dream?
Sponge
Bob: Mm-mmm.
Mr.
Krabs: Patrick in your bed again?
Sponge
Bob: Mm-hmm.
Mr.
Krabs: Aye.
Well, good night, laddy.
Sponge
Bob: Good night, sir.
Plankton: Salutations, puny mortals!
I am the great genie of the slide carousel!
WHOOOO!
Endorse my vacation slides or I shall grant you three miseries!
Mr.
Krabs: Heh, it's supposed to be three wishes.
Plankton: Silence, red one!
Withstand my slides!
Mr.
Krabs: Sponge
Bob: Yaay!
Plankton: AAAAGHHH!! Sponge
Bob: Everything okay in there, oh great genie?
Plankton: What are you, mocking me, kid?
Of course everything's not okay.
I can't show my slides!
Sponge
Bob: Well, that's not the can-do spirit. Plankton: Now we're cooking with blubber!
My second honeymoon, it started out as any romantic getaway would.
With five days of round-the-clock surveillance...
Sponge
Bob: Woah! Oooh, a letter!
Thank you, Mr.
Mailman!
Mailman: Oh, if I weren't already on parole.
Sponge
Bob: Ha ha ha ha!
Mail call! Mr.
Krabs: That-a-boy!
Ar ar ar ar! It's free tickets!
Sponge
Bob: Free tickets to what, Mr.
Krabs? You and a guest have won a week of relaxation on a luxury ocean cruise ship!
Mr.
Krabs: Wohoo!
Works for me! Gentlemen, I'm leaving you in-charge!
See you when I see ya!
Sponge
Bob: Oh, Mr.
Krabs, this says you and a guest!
Mr.
Krabs: Well, I suppose I could make that extra ticket available to, say, who ever is to be me man-servant?
Sponge
Bob: Right this way, sir! Plankton: You might as well hand over that secret formula right now, 'cause once you shove off it's as good as mine!
Ha ha ha!
What in sea-bottoms?!
Mr.
Krabs: Now look here, boy.
I'm bringing along the secret formuler as a precaution, just in case our absence proves to temptin' to a certain one-eyed creepy-crawly.
Plankton: Well played, Krabs, well played indeed.
But, as usual, this one-eyed creepy-crawly is one step ahead of you! You can't beat Plan B, you can't beat it!
Ah, this is going to be so sweet!
Karen, we are going on a luxury cruise!
Karen the Computer: A cruise, just the two of us?!
Oh, Plankton! Hey, if this is another scheme to steal the secret formula, you can leave me home!
Plankton: No, of course not! Just think of it as our second honeymoon.
Karen: Don't you have to have a first honeymoon before you embark on a second?
Plankton: Why don't I bump those vacation settings up a sminch? Karen: Oh, Plankton, this second honeymoon is gonna be so great!
Plankton: Yeah, it's going to be groovy, babe.
Now a quick check of the vacation inventory.
Suntan lotion, sunglass, death laser...
Karen: Got it! Did you see the pretty laser, honey?
Plankton: See it?!
It almost split me in half!
Karen: Whoops, sorry!
I'm just so excited about our cruise, cruisey cruise cruise, ha ha ha!
Cruise, cruise! Cruise, ha ha ha, cruise...
Plankton: Gotta rethink that vacation algorithm when we get back.
Plankton: Nothing tops kicking back next to my loving computer wife and soaking up the rays.
Karen: Oh, I hope I don't get screen burn.
Plankton: Let me give you a hand with that, honey. Karen: Oh, Plankton, you're such a sweet husband when you aren't obsessing over that stupid secret formula! Mr.
Krabs: Weee, ah ha ha!
Plankton: There he is, that swabby fool.
Your turn now, Krabs.
Karen: Plankton, what are you denouncing now?
Plankton: Um, oh, the d'oeuvre guy, he's late with my nibbles again.
Karen: Oh, don't get all worked up, Plankton.
Lets just focus on spending some quality time together alone for a change. Mr.
Krabs: Ah, ha ha ha!
Now push me back to the top, push me to the top!
D'oeuvre Guy: Would you like a nibble, sir?
Plankton: Is that Kelp Cheese? Karen: That snack is as big as you are!
Ha ha ha ha!
Plankton: Very funny, Karen.
Perhaps you should of married a pile of cheese. That's it!
Mr.
Krabs and Sponge
Bob: Ha ha ha!
Plankton: Un!
Eh!
Un!
Un!
Eh!
Mr.
Krabs: Ah ha ha!
Weee!
Ha ha ha!
Ar ar ar ar!
Plankton: AHHHH! Mr.
Krabs: Did you hear that? I could've sworn that I heard Plankteron!
Sponge
Bob: Hey, me too.
Mr.
Krabs: Oh, well.
One more time around the deck!
Plankton: I'm so exhausted!
How's it going, honey?
Karen: Zzzzz...
yawn...
hi, Plankton, I must of activated sleep mode.
Oh, what a great idea this was getting away from your usual shenanigans.
Plankton: Yeah, heh heh, sure is. Uh, just sit back while I massage your wheels. Karen: Now your making me so tired...
zzzz...
zzzz...
Plankton: Sleep well, babe, he he he he.
Plankton: Whew, that was close. Bubble Bust: Boy, I'm so sweaty. Plankton: AGGHHHHH! I hate you, Krabs.
Mr.
Krabs: Wahoo!
Plankton: You're not getting away this time!
Mr.
Krabs: I'm feeling lucky! Plankton: AGGHHHH!
Mr.
Krabs: Oh yeah!
Sponge
Bob: Go Mr.
Krabs!
Plankton: I don't care anymore!
Formula or no formula, I'm taking you down! Mr.
Krabs: Ar ar ar ar!
Sponge
Bob: Woah!
Aahh!
Plankton: AAHHHHH! Alright, alright!
I give up!
I know what I'm beat!
Mr.
Krabs: Oo, what's all this?
Free Land Food, sounds so exotic. Huh, this looks promising. That tastes like putrified coral stems dipped in rotten butter sauce.
Sponge
Bob: Yeah.
Mr.
Krabs: Uh, I don't know how anyone can stand this slop.
It makes me miss our grub over back at the Krusty Krab.
Sponge
Bob, be a good man-servant and fix me up a Krabby Patty, would ya?
Sponge
Bob: A good fry cook is never far from his grill, sir. Sadie Rechid: What is that delicious smell?
Fred Rechid: I don't know, but I want it, whatever it is!
Sponge
Bob: Order up, Mr.
Krabs!
Mr.
Krabs: He he hey!
Looks like we have a business venture on our hands.
This vacation just got a whole lot more lookerin' if you know what I'm sayin'.
Krabby Patties!
Come and get your Krabby Patties!
Plankton: Ahem, good day sirs, I would like to pilfer your, I mean, purchase a Krabby Patty.
Mr.
Krabs: Hm, watch me sucker this guy.
That will be a mire one hunderad dollars.
Plankton: That's all?
Why certainly, he he he. Mr.
Krabs and Plankton: Ah he he he he...
Mr.
Krabs: Come to daddy! Hey, wait a minute, there's chum all over this bill.
Hey, buddy!
Where did you get this?
Plankton: From the same place this is going, the Chum Bucket laboratory!
Nice doing business, Krabs!
he he he he! Mr.
Krabs: Nooooo!
Sponge
Bob: Stand back, sir.
Leave this to your trusty man-servant. Plankton: Ah ha ha ha ha! Choke on that, you big.
omf! Karen: I knew that you were up to something.
I can't believe you'd try and fool me for your own selfish needs.
My second honeymoon, ruined! Plankton: Well, technically it's your first.
Karen: Oh, would you can it already?
I guess I have no choice, but to turn up the settings on my vacation set. Plankton: Bu...
but I don't think that's such a good...Cruise Ship Captain: Oh, if I wasn't on parole!
Mr.
Krabs: Me costumers!
Aw, this vacation is a total bust!
Karen: Thanks, my sweet little gondolier.
This is going to be the best....
honeymoon ever!
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