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Mieka Pauley



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Mieka Pauley

I Haven't Even Started With You

How does it feel to have enough ?
Is it like washing your hands, elbow deep in the tub -
You take soap and water, take hand one and two,
Rub them together, and at some point you're through ?
But that's not even true, the dirt never comes off -
You can wash them forever, and it's never enough.
My hands are filthy - that's nothing new -
But I haven't even started with you.

Is it like when your friends tell you you've had enough -
They take you aside, all grave and serious ?
Oh, at the time, you swear they are wrong -
How can you keep drowning with nothing to drown on ?
But you wake up the next day, and the sun is too bright
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And your skull is too small, and you know they were right.
I can't think or talk straight - that's nothing new -
But I haven't even started with you.

How does it feel to have enough ?
To know that you're done ? To know you're all filled up ?
How does it feel to have enough ?
Is it this loud ? Or this loud ? Should I keep turning it up ?
Till your ears start to bleed - till the neighbors complain -
Till I get what I need - till you're screaming my name.
How does it feel ? God, I wish I knew.
I haven't even started with you.