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Kevin Bloody Wilson
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Nigel and Wilma
Nigel and Wilma were sweethearts,
From the outback crackatinny tribe,
She was as hot as a stolen commodore
And all he wanted was a quick test drive,
He was a man,
And she had a pulse.
Seduction scene started at Macker's,
Then to the park with a flag and a wine,
Then over a pile'a bricks, on a buildin' site,
He was givin' it to her doggy style,
He was a man,
And he was fair dinkum givin' it to her.
Drank himself silly 'til sun up,
Been fuckin' and drinkin' all night,
Staggered a couple'a blocks, through the empty streets,
When a liquor store caught their eye,
'You want a drink?
I'll go back and get a brick'.
Next thing she spotted a dress shop,
So Nigel's back another brick in his hand,
Smashed that Kalgoorlie key through the dress shop window
Grabbed the size twenty-two from the stand,
'You want a dress?
You'll look deadly in this'.
Next thing she spotted a shoe shop,
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Next thing Nigel's gone,
Next thing he's back, with a brand new brick,
Next thing she's wearin' brand new gongs,
He was the man,
And they was real flash double plucker red ones.
Fuckin' hell now he's in trouble,
She spotted a jewellery store,
And she's dribblin' all over the ring in the window
So she lifted up the dress she wore,
'You want more of this?
Go back and get another brick'.
Huffin' and puffin' and back from the worksite,
Poor ol' Nigel was sweatin' buckets,
Between the rootin' and the runnin' and the fetchin' of the bricks,
Poor Nige had just about had enough,
He was just a man,
But he was fair dinkum full on fully fucked.
Nigel dragged himself over to Wilma,
Placed a big sloppy kiss on her lips,
'All this window shoppin's killin' me Wilma
And a man's not made'a fuckin' bricks
I'm just a man,
And I'm not made'a fuckin' bricks'.
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