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Jeff Foxworthy
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Clampetts Go to Maui
作詞：Foxworthy Jeffrey Marshall
{I'll give you an idea of what kind of family mine is
This is a true story
About 9 or 10 months ago I did somethin' I had always wanted to do
I cashed in all my frequent flyer miles
I took everybody in my family to Hawaii
13 people thinkin' this would be the vacation of a lifetime
It ended up bein' the Clampetts go to Maui}
{'Cuz you get my family together
And there is an empty K-Mart somewhere
They showed up at the airport
They were usin' coolers and grocery bags for luggage
The sky cap was like 'Which ones yours? The Samsonite?
They were like, 'No we got the igloo with the duct tape on it
And the 5 piggly wiggly bags right there'}
{At the ticket counter I asked my mother
I said 'Mom would you like to sit next to the window?
She goes 'Oh I better not, I just had my hair fixed'
And on the plane, the movie they were showin' on the plane
Was homeward bound, the incredible journey
5 minutes into this movie my brother turns to me and goes
'You know that ain't them dogs real voice'
My sister got mad, 'Well thanks for spoilin' it for everybody else'}
{And we were stayin' right on the beach
In fact the whales were migrating through
You could stand on the balcony
And watch whales come up out of the water
First morning there, my brothers out there goin'
'Boy I wish I had a gun with a scope on it
How much does it cost to mount a whale? Anybody know?
I'd have to get a bigger trailer I'll tell ya that'}
{And you could tell which rooms were ours
Ours were the ones with the underwear hangin' off the rail
According to the manager, the sight of
The only peeing for distance contest they had ever had
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Which I am ashamed to say my Aunt Rose won
In the second round
We are a classy bunch}
{My Uncle Doug kept askin'
'When we gonna convert our money to Hawaiin money?
This is the same Uncle Doug we went to a Luau
And you know how they always ask people
To volunteer to Hula dance?
Ol' Doug volunteered}
{Halfway through the dance we all realize
Doug's not wearin' any underwear underneath his Hula skirt
We asked him about it later and he goes
'Well when I went to put my skirt on
I noticed I had a hole in my drawers
And I didnt wanna embarrass myself'
Dang Doug! You thought this out}
{And there's my family, I love 'em, they're good people
They just dont get out much
Mainly because of that no shirt no shoes rule
They love that hotel though
God, they stole everything from that place
They stole the ashtrays while we were checkin' in
Didn't even dump the sand out of 'em
Just picked 'em up and walked out
Stole everything, I mean you get outta the shower
And your dryin' off with toilet paper
'Cuz they have the towels in the piggly wiggly bags}
{And one day one of the maids made the mistake
Of goin' to lunch and leavin' her cart out in the hall
They were on that like a pack of dogs on a 3 legged cat
Picked it clean
I asked my brother later I said
'What are you gonna do with 180 shower caps?'
He said, 'Christmas presents'}
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