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The Jane Austen Argument
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The Debt Collectors
See, the debt collector's coming
He's come to break my fingers
So I can't play piano, no, no more
And see, the debt collector's coming
He's come to take my tongue
So I can't sing any songs any more
I just go 'Ah-ha-ah-ha-ah'
To the top of the pop charts
'Ah-ha-ah-ha-ah'
In your iPods
'Ah-ha-ah'
That's the sound of silence,
Simon and Garfunkel
And see, the Grim Reaper is coming
He's sharpening his scythe
'Til he can see his own reflection
And you see, the Grim Reaper is crying -
His business down the drain
'Cos people do it so much quicker
(And cheaper, and better...)
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And you see – our Saviour's second coming
He's such a selfish bastard
(Some of us don't get to come even once)
And you see, his fans know to avoid my house now
'Cos I've signed a sealed deal with Satan
To just love everybody that I can...
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Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And you see, I think the Grim Reaper should go after
That fucking debt collector
So I can sing whenever I bloody goddamn well please
And our Saviour should just make love to Satan
So both can see that either
Are intolerable
Without the other...
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh
And ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Ba-da-dum-bum, ba-dum, ba-dum
Oh...
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