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The Royal Guardsmen

The Jolly Green Giant

Hey Jolly Green Giant! What's new besides HO HO HO?

Would you believe a rowboat with three leaky worms?

You heard about the Jolly Green Giant (potato)
He's so big and mean (artichoke hearts)
He stands there laughing with his hands on his hips
And then he hits you with a can of beans.

He lives down in his valley (spinach)
The cat stands tall and green (brussel sprouts)
Well he aint no prize. There's no women his size
And that's why the cat's to mean.

One day he left, his valley cat
I mean to say this cat was mad.
Now lookin' round, he wasn't gone long.
And then he ran into an Amazon.

And this changed his whole complexion (broccoli)
He'd never seen such a beautiful sight (asparagus)
Well he looked at her and she looked at him
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And he almost passed out from fright.

He looked at her, thought what a dilly
He touched her once, she slapped him silly.
Now this was something he'd never said.
He looked at her and she commenced
Now listen pal this aint no flew.
I can't see goin with a big green fool.

You heard about the jolly green giant (watermelons)
Never let his troubles cross your mind (corn!)
He couldn't get sally, so he went back to his valley
The cat was color blind

do do do do do do do do do (carrots)
do do do do do do do do do (and peas)
do do do do do, do do do do
do do do do do do do do
Sorry about that chief!