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SpongeBob SquarePants
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Driven to Tears
Narrator：A very special day in Bikini Bottom!!
SpongeBob：I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?
Patrick：Right here, buddy. Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. Mmm.
SpongeBob：No, Patrick!
Patrick：Hey, learning tastes good.
SpongeBob: Patrick, I needed those.
Patrick: Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.
SpongeBob: 57 times.
Patrick: Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.
SpongeBob: I'm a winner?
Patrick: Who's a winner?
SpongeBob: I'm a winner.
Patrick: Who's a winner?
SpongeBob: I'm a winner.
Patrick: Who's a winner?!
SpongeBob: I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... Patrick: How'd you do, winner? Let's see that license.
SpongeBob: I didn't get a license, Patrick.
Patrick: Are they gonna mail it to you?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.
Patrick: No way! 58 is, like, the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.
SpongeBob: Let's just go home, Patrick.
Patrick: We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself.
SpongeBob: No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. Patrick: Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing.
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. No!
Mrs. Puff: Good morning.
Patrick: You're not the judge of me.
Mrs. Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! SpongeBob: I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I?
Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I'm here for you, buddy.
Patrick: I passed my test!
SpongeBob: You got a perfect score?
Patrick: Yeah, I thought you said it was hard.
SpongeBob: Perfect score. Patrick: Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. Miss Shell: Stand behind the line, sir.
Patrick: How do I look?
SpongeBob: Like a winner.
Miss Shell: Ready?
Patrick: Ready. SpongeBob: Huh?
Fish: Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test.
Patrick: Does that mean I get a free key chain?
Fish: Uhh, no.
Patrick: Oh.
Fish: You get a brand-new boat mobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine.
Patrick: Yeah! All right!
Fish: Women will want you. Men will want to be you. You'll be the envy of your friends. Patrick: Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat.
SpongeBob: I'm so happy for you... ['La Cucaracha' horn blows in his face]Whoa!
Patrick: The horn works. Whoo! This is the greatest day ever. Right, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license.
Patrick: Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license.
SpongeBob: Two millionth?
Patrick: Then you can get a free boat just like me.
SpongeBob: Yeah, just like you.
Patrick: I try to serve as an inspiration to others.
SpongeBob: Can we go home now? We've been driving around your house for hours.
Patrick: I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it?
SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride, Patrick.
Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can't help being a... pedestrian. SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?
Patrick: I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3: 00 in the morning, people are trying to sleep. SpongeBob: 4: 00? Who could be at the door at this hou-- Now what is it, Patrick?
Patrick: You will never guess what happen to me today.
SpongeBob: You got your license.
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Patrick: Yeah! But that's not all.
SpongeBob: You got a new boat.
Patrick: Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. SpongeBob: Oh... I just need a few minutes sleep. Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. I'm so tired. Patrick: Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work?
SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. Patrick: Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license.
SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride.
Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license. SpongeBob: That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile...
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru.
SpongeBob: When did we get a drive-thru?
Mr. Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're too busy out on the open road living their dreams.
SpongeBob: I used to have a dream.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living.
SpongeBob: Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ['La Cucaracha' horn honks]
Patrick: The horn still works. Hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: What's with the helmet, Patrick?
Patrick: Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. SpongeBob: Uh-huh. Patrick: Boy, driving is so easy.
SpongeBob: Oh?
Patrick: Do you want me to give you lessons?
SpongeBob: Oh, that would be great.
Patrick: Oh! SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy.
Mr. SquarePants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob's mom and dad, not yours?
Patrick: What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.
Mrs. SquarePants: That's great, Patrick.
Patrick: SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.
Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield.
SpongeBob: Mom!
Patrick: Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides.
SpongeBob: Hey. Mr. SquarePants: Even Patrick has a license. Patrick: Let's see what this baby can do. SpongeBob: Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah.
SpongeBob: 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. Patrick: What? Where? Who?
SpongeBob: Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock him with your radar gun?
Officer: Umm... ok. Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. SpongeBob: Are you sure you don't want to run him in? It's a red light, Patrick! Patrick, you just ran 3 red lights!
Patrick: So?
SpongeBob: You're suppose to stop!
Patrick: I think the driving genius knows what he's doing!
SpongeBob: Driving genius?! Why would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?!
Patrick: They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?
SpongeBob: I should've gotten that license, and this should be my boat mobile!
Patrick: How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!
SpongeBob: If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!
Patrick: I'm not rubbing my license in your face! This is rubbing my license in your face! SpongeBob: Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. SpongeBob & Patrick: It's the police!
Officer: Pull it over, litterbug!
Patrick: Litterbug?! No! Officer: Ooh, I got me a runner. SpongeBob: Patrick, what do you think you're doing?
Patrick: I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering.
Patrick: So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him.
SpongeBob: What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! Patrick's innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead.
Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent... oh, what the heck. 90 days! Narrator: One debt to society later... SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob: I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.
Patrick: Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore.
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end.
SpongeBob: Oh, then what do we do with this? Patrick: How's that?
SpongeBob: Yeah!
Patrick: Ready, buddy?
SpongeBob: Ready, pal. Whoo! Whoo!
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