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Dumb ways to die

Set fire to your hair.
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear.
Eat medicine, that's out of date,
Use your private parts as piranha bait.

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie!
So many dumb ways to die!

Get your toast out with a fork.
Do your own electrical work.
Teach yourself how to fly.
Eat a 2-week-old, unrefrigerated pie.

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie!
So many dumb ways to die!

Invite a psycho killer inside.
Scratch a drug dealer's brand new ride.
Take your helmet off, in outer space.
Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place.

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie!
So many dumb ways to die!

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Keep a rattlesnake as a pet.
Sell both your kidneys on the internet.
Eat a tube, of superglue.
'I wonder. What's this red button do?' *BOOM!*

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die-ie-ie!
(Small pause)
So many dumb ways to die!

Dress up like a moose during hunting season,
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason.
Stand on the edge of a train station platform.
Drive around the boom-gates at a level crossing.
Run across the tracks between platforms.

It may not rhyme but it's quite possibly:
The dumbest ways to die!
The dumbest ways to die!
The dumbest ways to die-ie-ie-ie!
(Longer pause)
So many dumb - So many dumb ways to die!

Spoken:
Be safe around trains.
A message from Metro.