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insignificant other



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insignificant other

the lodge (sad songs)

for as long as i will live, i'll never
be able to get it out of my head
the way it felt, your crooked teeth
my lips,
the creaks in motel beds
we stayed awake for hours there,
just listening to our own breath
denying that our time was running out
45 minutes left

then it's a seven-minute drive to my apartment
and on the way we'll get pulled over
though we're underaged and sober
it's a sunday night and GNV PD is bored to new extremes
you're panicky, but i am simply
grateful for this opportunity

to tell you what i've meant
to show you all along
i know that i have fucked up more than a few times
and i know i've been wrong

and maybe i will never find the right time to say
that i apologize for all the shit i'll throw your way
and i know that i've been trained to think that you won't love me
from all those sad songs that i've listened to
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but maybe i'll learn to think in a rational way
maybe convince myself i'll be myself
and you won't run away
and you've told me time and time again
that you love me
and i just want to believe
that you wouldn't lie through your teeth
when you are lying down with me

and maybe we'll sustain this thing
though miles apart
maybe i'll learn to take a chance and maybe
i will start
telling myself there is no need to worry
we've got all the time we need and there is no need to hurry
maybe
i won't let sad songs and cynics run my life
maybe five years from now we'll smile and say that this was right
but for now i will tell myself again that you love me,
and i just want to believe
i just want you with me
because you're there and i'm here
and i am missing your crooked teeth