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Mads Veslelia
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So Low (feat. Karoline Wendelborg)
I'ma tortured soul, I'm just so low
I got a bogus smile, I'm not normal
I don't find the time, I feel sorrow
easy for yah to judge but yah just don't
know the real deal, what I'm saying
I'm depressed for real, I ain't playing
I'ma deep guest, I'm just waiting
to check out from this black cloud that I'm staying on
All I ever wanted was to play along strong
never thought that I was suicidal, shit wrong
I still remember that day, I was so close, a click from gone, I've been sick so long
Oh, i'm not making this up, to fill a song
I'm not making hip hop for you to sing along
this is real pain, real feelings
real words, I'm hurt and fuck it I'll sing it.
Oh, I don't wanna live, in this fucking mean world.
Cause everything I've heard is words, that don't mean none.
All good I've ever seen, is in a fucking dream-world
Cause everything they do, is too good to be true
Waking up to another fucking day
police call me say they got something to say
they think my mom is dead, from overdose so they
need my approval to break in, ok.
As I'm sitting there waiting on the message,
I'm preparing myself on how I'm gon' tell it
to my brother, my grandpa, my cousin and grandma.
I share a deep depression this direction is hell I
never thought I'd had to be the man in this family
yesterday I was 10 now it's no remedy.
I've been threatening and beating, sweating and bleeding
to prevent the darkness from impeding my feelings.
I'm at the point where I'm more then low,
I got dangerous plans that no one knows.
Every day is a battle inside, my thoughts they grow
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First kill them all, then give myself the last bullet-whole.
Oh, I don't wanna live, in this fucking mean world.
Cause everything I've heard is words, that don't mean none.
All good I've ever seen, is in a fucking dream-world
Cause everything they do, is too good to be true
keep pouring evil liquid in my cup
I'm not drinking, watch it float over the top
take my life away, I don't give a fuck
I'm at the edge, singing my last song. Ain't planning on stop.
And guess what, I give up, so what now? I go down,
one click, and I'll just be another body in the water floating around
and that sounds, so peaceful
my brain, there is nothing more lethal
I got pain no one can see through
everyday demons tryna defeat you,
and to top it all off
there's no one that calls
and even if there was
they couldn't help me from those
thoughts, so I'm thinking about leaving, exit from this overload
forever peace and,
just sail away like a swan
every day that I live, is a day that I won
but I don't think I'm gone
make it to the next morning, no warning, be gone by the end of dawn and
as I'm looking through my eyes, at my last minute, I'm thinking of life, my past and what I had in it. My bad but I'm about to quite it, shit. Tell people I was tired of this.
Oh, I don't wanna live, in this fucking mean world.
Cause everything I've heard is words, that don't mean none.
All good I've ever seen, is in a fucking dream-world
Cause everything they do, is too good to be true.
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