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The Oldham Tinkers
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John Willie's Ferret
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
He slipped his lead with some butter from the sauce
He patterned all the table with his dirty little paws,
Ooh said the vicar's wife this rabbit isn't dead,
As he danced a little jig around the hat upon her head.
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
He ran down her collar and down the front he tore,
He wriggled down her knicker leg, and danced across the floor
'Hey up' said the vicar ' that's a sewer rat I'm sure',
'Well if that's the case 'his wife replied 'I wish we had some more'.
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
He ran through the soup and he nibbled at the peas,
He dribbled all the gravy down the mayor's knocking knees,
And then he quenched his ferret's thirst with half a pint of shandy,
And then relieved his little self, in Mrs Brialey's Brandy.
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
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Well the ladies left their tables, and began to dance with fright
They shouted out in panic at the little ferret's sight
He nibbled at their stockings and he tickled all their knees,
And the vicar's wife kept shouting 'give me some of that please'.
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
He ran up and down the curtains and he swam about the punch
He herded all the ladies in a corner in a bunch,
And just to end the escapade he did a little quickie,
He ran up the speaker's dinner suit and nibbled at his collar.
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
So they caught the little fellow, and they put him in a box,
They gave him anaesthetic from the vicar's woolly socks.
The sang him Annie Laurie in the mayor's own car and then,
They got him back to John Willie's pen.
I was there so were you, the mayor and the vicar all the council too,
With their wives and ladies on full view, the night John Willie took his ferret to a do.
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