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Heavy Weight

My eyes wake to the stubborn clutch
Impelled by the weight of my lack of trust
In anybody close to me
I won't draw a cold shoulder
...
Find myself a silver lining
Just to aid me in finding
A reminder of my understanding
Not to choose so carelessly
...
I'm sick of bearing the heavy weight
For nobody else's sake
I'll just lay right here and wait it out
For a touch of fate
...
Don't want to feel so miserable
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Under the weight of it all
I'll keep a tight grip on the reasons why
I let anybody in at all
...
My mind's cut into stone
But still hidden behind closed walls
Optimism gets the best of me
As I starve myself of dignity
...
Push myself to take the blame
For every shove I made I vein
To level with my calm demeanour
And pull myself back up again