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Mike Cross
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Dear Boss
Dear Boss, I write this note to you
to tell you of my plight,
and at the time of writing
I am not a pretty sight.
My body is all black and blue
my face a deadly gray,
and I hope you'll understand
why Paddy's not at work today.
I was workin' on the 14th floor,
some bricks I had to clear.
And throwin' 'em down from such a height
was not a good idea.
The foreman wasn't pleasant,
he being an awful sot,
and he said I'd have to take them down the ladder in my hod.
Well, clearing all these bricks by hand
it was so awful slow.
So I hoisted up a barrel
and secured a rope below.
But in my haste to do the job
I was too blind to see
that a barrel full of building bricks
was heavier than me.
So I went down to cut the rope
and the barrel fell like lead.
And clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket
and to my surprise I found
that halfway up
I met the bloody barrel comin' down.
Well the barrel struck my shoulder
as to the ground it sped.
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And when I reached the top,
I hit the pulley with my head.
I spun around all stunned and shocked
from this almighty blow,
while the barrel spilled out half the bricks
fourteen floors below.
Now when these bricks had fallen
from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel and
I started down once more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope
I headed towards the ground
and fell upon the building bricks
that were all scattered round.
Now as I lay there quietly,
I thought I'd passed the worst.
When the barrel hit the pulley
and then the bottom burst!
A shower of bricks fell down on me
I hadn't got a hope,
and as I was losing consciousness,
I let go the bloody rope.
Well the barrel, now being heavier
it started down once more.
Struck across me smartly
as I lie there on the floor.
It broke some ribs and my left arm
and I can only say
that I hope you'll understand
why Paddy's not at work today.
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