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Hugo Duncan
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Paddy McGinty's Goat
Now Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note.
Fell in for a fortune and he bought himself a goat.
Says he, 'Sure of goat's milk, I'm gonna have my fill.'
But when he brought the nanny home, he thought it was a bill.
All the fine ladies that live in Kilaloe.
Are now wearing bustles like the mothers used to do.
They each wear a bolster beneath their petticoat.
And leave the rest in providence of Paddy McGinty's goat.
Mrs. Burke to her daughter said, 'Listen, Mary Jane.
Who was the lad you've been cuddling in the rain?'
'He'd long wiry whiskers hanging from his chin.
'Twas only Paddy McGinty's goat,' she answered with a grin.
Then she went away from the village in disgrace.
She came back with powder and paint upon her face.
She'd rings on her fingers and she wore a stable coat.
You could bet your life she didn't
get those from Paddy McGinty's goat.
Nora McCarthy the knot was going to tie.
She washed out her trousseau and she hung them out to dry.
Along comes the goat and he saw the bits of white.
He chewed up all her falderals upon her wedding night.
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'Turn out the light quick!' she shouted to her Pat.
'Although I'm your bride, sure I'm not worth looking at.
I've had to of everything I told you when I wrote.
But now I'm wearing nothing thanks to Paddy McGinty's goat.'
He won twenty dollars and he shouted, 'Hip hooray!'
He held up the note shouting, 'Look at what I got!'
The goat came up and grabbed it and he swallowed up the lot.
They sent in the doctors to get the stomach pump.
They pumped and they pumped for the twenty dollar note.
But all they got was nine pence out of Paddy McGinty's goat.
Now old Patrick's goat had a wonderful appetite.
One day for breakfast, he had some dynamite.
A big box of matches, he swallowed all serene.
Then he went and swallowed up a quart of parafin.
He sat by the fireside he didn't give a hang.
He swallowed up a spark and exploded with a BANG.
So if you go to Heaven, you can bet your dollar note.
'Cause the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat!
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