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Christmas Queens
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Christmas Stories (Interlude)
Ugh. By the way, I had always like wonderful Christmases, but did anybody ever have like burn down? Like, when they were young or anything?
No...
I wanted a Barbie so bad, but my mom gave me a G.I. Joe
Okay, but does anyone have any really bad Christmas stories?
Umm, this one time my dad got my mom a curly fry maker
...A what?
It's like a curling iron, but for potatoes
Ohhh...
Yeah. Deep-fried carbs on Christmas is pretty bad, but does anyone have any really, really bad Christmas stories?
Hey, you guys, I've got one
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Yeah, what is it, Jackie Beat?
Picture it. Me, a little girl, sitting at the Christmas table surrounded by my family. The year was 1989 and--
Girl, really?
...1972. Shut up and let me tell the story. Choking up Anyway, so there I am, surrounded by my family like I said, eating Christmas dinner, and I turned to my dad and I said 'Hey, dad, will you please pass the gravy?' and guess what he said?...
That he's not your real dad, and he never was?
No. He said, and get this, 'Sorry, Jackie, we're out of gravy!'
Queens gasp and Jackie sobs
Oh, you're such a card, Jackie. And speaking of cards, this is my new song, 'Chr!$Tm@$ $Ux'
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