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Frank Zappa & The Mothers
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It's A Good Thing We Get Paid To Do This
Mark：'
It's a good thing we get paid to do this.
I could be in L.
A., getting reamed, listening to an Elton John album.'
Howard：'
Don't even talk about getting reamed.
Listen, I've been without female companionship for so long, a career as a Jesuit monk looks inviting, Ian is starting to look good to me.'
George: '
Must be his green velour socks!'
Jeff: '
You just calm down there, Duke.
Mark: '
Ever since you left the jazz world to seek fame and fortune in the rock & roll industry . . . '
Jeff: '
What do you mean rock & roll?
This fucking band doesn't even play rock & roll, it's all that comedy crap!!'
Ian: '
If we played any rock & roll we might make some money.
I wouldn't mind playing some rock & roll, uh, I like classical music too, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy playing rock & roll.
I mean, it's not very challenging, intellectually, but I wouldn't mind if we did some rock & roll.
We could vote on it.'
Jeff: '
Vote on it?
For what?
To tell Zappa we want to play some good music instead of this comedy shit . . .?'
Aynsley: '
I wouldn't mind playing some rock & roll, a bit more commercial, with sort of heavy four part harmony, group vocals and a very heavy beat, that the kids could enjoy.
I think we'd definitely make more money that way.'
Ian: '
Maybe after we finish the movie we could play more rock & roll.'
Mark: '
Yeah!
We could all quit and form other groups and play more rock & roll.'
Jeff: '
And more blues, extended blues, blues but still down and funky, even though you extended it.
George knows what I'm talking about, don't you, George?.'
George: '
Leave me out of this.
I come from the jazz world and I know all about these groups that get formed and disappear, with their extensions waving in the moonlight.'
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Mark: '
You just calm down there, Duke.'
Jeff: '
Maybe we could all form a group, we could elect a leader . . .
Howard . . .
we could call it Howard Kaylan World.'
Ian: '
We wouldn't have to have any leader.'
Jeff: '
We could just jam a lot.'
Aynsley: '
But it would have to have a really heavy beat and be really commercial so the kids could enjoy it.'
Howard: '
I wanna get laid!
I am so horny I can't stand it!'
Jeff: '
Listen, if you think for a minute anybody likes this comedy music we've been playing you're crazy.
That's why you don't get laid, who wants to fuck a comedian!
None of these girls can take you seriously.'
Mark: '
Hang on, you should be careful talking about that kind of stuff.'
Jeff: '
Why?
Does he listen?'
Ian: '
He always listens.
He's always watching and listening to all the guys in the band.
I've been in the band for years and I know, he always listens, believe me.'
Jeff: '
That's how he gets his material.
He listens to us being natural, friendly, humorous and good-natured, then he rips us off, sneaks off into a secret room someplace and boils it in ammonia, and gets it perverted.
Then he brings it back to us at a rehearsal and makes us play it.'
Ian: '
I've been in the group for years and let me tell you that is exactly, that is precisely what he does: He steals all his material.'
Mark: '
And the stuff he doesn't steal, Murray Roman writes for him.
Listen, without us he'd be nothing!'
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